The only thing more intimidating than a huge international film star is your mother-in-law.

I only play projects with weird interpretations of presidents.

I can always go back to construction. That's great money, but the problem is you can cut off your hand.

Don't trust somebody that don't have a troubled period.

You never can take for granted that you have a job.

You know, 1% of us is in the armed forces, protecting the other 99, and they're all volunteers.

I'd consider myself a flailing comedy writer.