Every job is an opportunity to be a better person.

You never know when you'll have a bad idea for a worse joke.

My dad is kind of a rascal, like in a Dickensian sense. He just goes from career to career.

The place I feel most at home is when I have health insurance. I really don't care how I get it, whether it's on film, or television or waiting tables, you know?

I'd consider myself a flailing comedy writer.

Even the greatest actors have had dry spells where they've wondered if they were going to work again.

You know, 1% of us is in the armed forces, protecting the other 99, and they're all volunteers.