I have a definition of success.
The job of the leader is to speak to the possibility.
I'm so sorry for you; your lives have been so easy. You can't play great music unless your heart's been broken.
Live the rest of your life in possibility
The major difference between the 'best' and the 'average' is that the 'best' get as much pleasure from practice as performance.
Look at their eyes. If their eyes are shining, you know you're doing it.