I don't know whether I'm misanthropic. It seems to me I'm constantly disappointed. I'm very easily disappointed.

You can always tell a Midwestern couple in Europe because they will be standing on a traffic island in the middle of a busy intersection looking at a windblown map and arguing over which way is west. European cities, with their wandering streets and undisciplined alleys, drive Midwesterners practically insane.

Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead.

Of all the things I am not very good at, living in the real world is perhaps the most outstanding.

I love the feeling of being anonymous in a city I've never been before.

Because time moves more slowly in Kid World ... it goes on for decades ... It is adult life that is over in a twinkling.

A sign in the yard of a church next door said CHRIST IS THE ANSWER. (The question, of course, is: What do you say when you strike your thumb with a hammer?)