I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don't even notice that you're filling up their heads with your theories.

I couldn't trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space - but you pick one wrong guy and it's all out the window. They're never gonna live that one down.

Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live.

If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you're from and some of the thought processes. Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.

Turn inward and say to yourself "I'm just gonna do it". That mindset got me to where I am now. I look at the industry like it's a giant mall, and I have a little store - this what I'm selling: I do stand-up, I've got a podcast, and occasionally I act.

Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.

You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.