Kids don't learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore.

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be.

Kids don't learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore.

I'm mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now, I'll have to throw him another.

You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.

I told [reporters] that I sprinkled marijuana on my organic buckwheat pancakes, and then when I ran my five miles to the ballpark, it made me impervious to the bus fumes. That's when [Baseball Commissioner] Bowie Kuhn took me off his Christmas list.

The only rule I got is if you slide, get up.