The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be.

Smoking's a way to let you down slowly from a ballgame. It also makes you use less of the resources around. It makes people better in the way they act towards society. Everybody's nicer. It's hard to be mean when you're stoned.

I'm mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now, I'll have to throw him another.

You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be.

I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world.

Kids don't learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore.