You know what's really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true. You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.

There are people who don`t like women holding power.

In a country where people's attention span is short and they are holding the clicker in their hand, and they got a hundred other options, you have to basically understand what the audience is responding to. If you don't, you're going to fail.

We live in an age where truth really doesn't matter anymore.

The chief al Qaeda recruiting tool is the net.

I'm not writing a Ph.D. Dissertation.

On the foreign policy front, Barack Obama is not a confrontational man. He stayed away from all confrontations, and you can look and see what happened overseas. It's a mess everywhere. So he made major mistakes, major policy mistakes. Those mistakes are not going to be forgiven by history.