I don't care about the Constitution! The Constitution isn't here; you're here. Don't be a pinhead.

If you the American citizen leave a child in a hot car and that child was harmed by that you will be charged with negligence even if your action was unintentional.

We do know that the Bandido gang in Houston does drug deal. There are a bunch of people being convicted for heavyweight narcotics trafficking from the gang.

For some reason, President Obama is being heckled about "don't ask, don't tell," which may be revoked. The president wants gays to be allowed to serve openly in the military.

He [Barak Obama]'s a guy from Chicago. He doesn't know what the hell to do. He's got a big pipe with a hole in it.

It's an excellent movie. Really excellent.

You know what's really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true. You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.