Hating the Yankees isn't part of my act. It is one of those exquisite times when life and art are in perfect conjunction.

Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.

How can you be a sage if you're pretty? You can't get your wizard papers without wrinkles.

I believe in God, but I'm not too clear on the other details.

I try not to break the rules, but merely to test their elasticity.

Hating the Yankees isn't part of my act. It is one of those exquisite times when life and art are in perfect conjunction.

Suffering is overrated. It doesn't teach you anything.