It's not that I don't understand it. But people think if you speak with an English accent it somehow makes you smarter.

Now the idea in the movie world is to make things the same. And in the TV world, the idea is to do something different, so... that's why I'm here!

Every couple I know has side-by-side grave plots, but when we do it we're the biggest weirdos on the block.

I figured I would have to tell someone to kiss my ass before it was all over, and I have -- twice.

They always say 'Is there going to be a sequel to Bad Santa?' and you know, I mean, a long time ago they would talk about, you know, we're going to do a sequel to that but it was never serious. And they said 'Would you do it?' and I said out of all the movies I've done, that was a lot of fun, and maybe I would do a sequel if it ever came up and it made sense, but I said I don't think that's ever going to happen.

I quit flying years ago. I don't want to die with tourists.

I've never heard of anybody smoking a joint and going on a rampage. It makes you lie around on the floor and look at the ceiling. What's wrong with that?