I can't sit through plays and musical theatre. I just want to run up onstage and mess up their hair and turn over the furniture.

If someone is talking to you and tells you that you ought to do something, and you can tell they mean it, those are the scary people. Those are the people you want to watch out for.

Every character I play is me, always has been.

I think my stuff's kind of obsolete now, you know? I'm making Model Ts or something, and everybody else is making spaceships.

You have to really know what you're saying.

I was the fattest baby in Clark County, Arkansas. They put me in the newspaper. It was like a prize turnip.

I've been married five times, and people think that's some bizarre thing, yet I've got buddies who refuse to get married and have sex with 15 people a week. I'm like "Which is better?" At least I was trying.