As a comic, I've heard gunshots while I'm trying to get to sleep. I've performed where people wanted to do you harm after the show because of something you said.

I'm from Minnesota! I used to work Knuckleheads at the Mall of America as a stand-up. I spent New Year's there once. I'm not trying to namedrop.

I mean, yeah, I want to lose some weight! I'm doing the best I can.

And then as I got older, see, I think a lot of times with comics, your life kind of permeates your act. Whatever is happening in your life is what's going on on stage. So if you're angry in your life, then that's going to be on stage. If you're looking for the guy that's just going to make you laugh for an hour and forget about, that's me.

Look, you know, you can't please everybody. I'm a stand-up comic. I know that. It doesn't matter how funny you are and how well you do, there's two people that are going to walk out of there hating you.

You know, I'm playing the Mirage in Vegas, the main room... About 5 percent of all comics end up as the main headliner on the Vegas Strip, so that's a big deal for me. Getting to do my stand-up the way I have this summer is really what I've dreamed of since I was about 10 years old.

I've been trying to watch my weight a bit, but when I come to Las Vegas, all bets are off. I get enough healthy food in L.A. where the food is the size of a quarter and costs $40 - when I'm in Vegas, I want a steak!