If I ever reach heaven I expect to find three wonders there: first, to meet some I had not thought to see there; second, to miss some I had expected to see there; and third, the greatest wonder of all, to find myself there.

There's a deep-seated paranoia that Americans have about not being Americans or something.

Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.

I've written a bunch of stuff that no one's ever heard, and I don't know if they ever will. I'm just doing it for my own edification.

I'm probably writing music now for the same reason as I started writing songs when I was 14 - to meet women.

The piano sounds like a carnival and the microphone smells like a beer. And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, man, what are you doing here?

I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.