I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut.

An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark - that is critical genius.

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man. Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.

Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's.

We are on the track of something absolutely mediocre.

God save me from myself.