Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man. Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.

I am big. It's the pictures that got small.

I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.

I'm delighted with it, because it used to be that films were the lowest form of art. Now we've got something to look down on.

The best director is the one you don't see.

I don't go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons.

I hate that word. It's return--a return to the millions of people who've never forgiven me for deserting the screen.