I love the unabashed over-buttered, over-creamed, deep-fried, gooey, over-sugared excessiveness of Amish food.

August in Florida is God's way of reminding us who's in charge.

They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but sometimes I think God has overestimated what I can take.

Perfume companies ought to bottle the smell of crisp bacon. Forget pheromones. I’ll bet a woman with a little spot of bacon grease behind her ears would attract every male within a five-mile radius.

Being young is easy, you know, but it takes guts to be old.

I love the unabashed over-buttered, over-creamed, deep-fried, gooey, over-sugared excessiveness of Amish food.

Heads of warring nations could learn a lot about how to achieve lasting peace by watching dogs and cats who live in the same house.