I'm Winnie the Pooh - that's as sexy as I am. I meet ladies and they talk about their family and I talk about my family. It's about as sexy as a bag of Brussel sprouts.

Most dictators were short, fat, middle-aged and hairless. Besides Danny Devito, there's only me to play them.

Monogamy is a possibility - and a necessity. Kids have got to have something they can rely on. You have got to have something you rely on.

I've watched films and even forgotten I'm in them.

One of the things I've realised is that I am very simple. My wife asked me once if I loved her. I said: 'Look love, I'm a simple man. I love you. End of story.' But I guess you gotta keep saying it with women. I guess she needed reassurance.

I realised one day that men are emotional cripples. We cant express ourselves emotionally, we can only do it with anger and humour. Emotional stability and expression comes from women.

Before Michael Caine you had to have been in the RAF to be an actor.