In my first stand-up acts there wasn't material even. You know, I'd go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd - and it's what interested me as a comedian.

Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I've ever been.

Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

It's that weird need to make tragedy about us. When you look at 9/11, there's people who really died and family members who really suffered. And then I would be in Montana, and a guy would go, "You know, I was close to Ground Zero." And it's like, "What are you talking about? You're in Montana." Everybody had to make it about them.

I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off.

In fact, with Michael Jackson, I think those mourning people... They aren't even waking Michael, they're waking the Michael Jackson of '84. They never were given a chance to give their respects to the death of the guy they loved back in '84.