Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.
Bonnie McFarlaneThere's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants.
Bonnie McFarlaneMy sister might be dumb, but that doesn't make her all that different from the rest of us. She's just like any other American. Except she's Canadian. And retarded.
Bonnie McFarlaneMy sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What... is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh... yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence.
Bonnie McFarlane