You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.

If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.

I jog, actually; I go at night. A lot of women, they don't like to go jogging alone at night. They're afraid they might get accosted. I go naked. That way, if there are any perverts around, they think I'm already being chased.

It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so I'm not sure how much retard humor is really going on out there, but I imagine there's a lot because it's a pretty safe group to make fun of. It's not like the Retards of America are gonna rise up and organize a protest. They're not gonna write letters. They only just recently got the Supreme Court to stop executing them.

Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.

I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be!

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.