Some people think that it [Brexit] is the end of the world. It's not. On the contrary, it's a massive opportunity for this country.

It just happens I write fast and always have done.

The crucial thing is to look in an informed way at what's going on. Look at the way in which we are forced by our imbalanced system to push away people who might contribute mightily to the NHS.

I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.

There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

Remind me: who was the greater mass murderer, Stalin or Hitler? Well, Stalin is thought to have been responsible for about 50 million deaths, and Hitler for a mere 25 million. What Hitler did in his concentration camps was equalled if not exceeded in foulness by the Soviet gulags, forced starvation and pogroms. What makes the achievements of communist Russia so special and different, that you can simper around in a CCCP T-shirt, while anyone demented enough to wear anything commemorating the Third Reich would be speedily banged away under the 1986 Public Order Act?