I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.

Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.

We should celebrate immigrants and everything they do for our country.

Dark forces dragged me away from the keyboard, swirling forces of irresistible intensity and power.

The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.

I want to offer particular congratulations to Andrea Leadsom on her stunning achievement. She is now well placed to win and replace the absurd gloom in some quarters with a positive, confident and optimistic approach, not just to Europe, but to government all round.

Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.