If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma.

If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma.

I don't hate cats...as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong.

We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I'm bored. Let's go brush our teeth. Or, I've got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth.

Get out of our schools God, get out of our textbooks God, get out of our government God, go away God, go away God, go away God, Katrina hits, God, where are you?

I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly.

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?