I've been to Canada, and they love - oh my God, they love their stand-up comedy in Canada. I've been overseas to do shows for the troops all over the Middle East, and I actually went to China recently and did shows, not for the troops, but just for local Chinese people, and Americans that have moved there, and things like that. It was fantastic. They got it. They're way smarter than we give them credit for.

It's extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what's going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.

That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.

People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.

Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.

Women feel safe with me. Because a woman with me knows that she can stop the situation from advancing to a point that she's comfortable at any time.

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.