I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.

Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.

Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.

I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

I'm constantly watching satirical news programs, and just - I never want to be in a situation where someone could yell out a topic and I will have absolutely no opinion on it whatsoever, or just not even know it exists.

I don't know why you'd go to a comedian and say, "You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets."