Hope E.L .James doesn't think I'm being a prankster. I really want to adapt her novels for the screen. Christian Grey is a writer's dream.

Do you wear a diaphragm everywhere you go?' I want to scream, but stop myself because the idea really excites me.

A great numb feeling washes over me as I let go of the past and look forward to the future. Pretend to be a vampire. I don't really need to pretend, because it's who I am, an emotional vampire. I've just come to expect it. Vampires are real. That I was born this way. That I feed off of other people's real emotions. Search for this night's prey. Who will it be?

The snowy owl has eyes that look just like mine, especially when it widens them. And while I stand there, staring at it, lowering my sunglasses, something unspoken passes between me and the bird - there's this weird kind of tension, a bizarre pressure, that fuels the following, which starts, happens, ends, very quickly.

My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.

There’s no use in denying it: this has been a bad week. I’ve started drinking my own urine.

Life is like a typographical error: we're constantly writing and rewriting things over each other.