Nice to see you, to see you nice

No one - apart from my agent, perhaps - should leave one of my shows in tears.

In my mind, everything is too sanitised on television - what is wrong with things going wrong?

Some people hate the sight of me as soon as they see me on television. They loathe the look of me, and I accept that from the days of variety. I would walk on and some people would open a newspaper and think, 'He's first on, so he can't be any good.' I accept that.

When you've been brought up in variety, I think timing is always important in your life. If I'm ever late for anything, whether it's personal or business, I always apologise. 'I'm sorry I'm late,' and all that. And if somebody is late meeting me, I expect them to say 'I'm sorry I'm late.' It's just, shall we say, showbiz etiquette of my day.

They do say, the smaller the feet, the better the dancer.

Not working is bad for you. It is my drug, it gives me a high; most performers will tell you that. And there is nothing like the high that an audience gives you.