I would rather be a security guard than a rock star.

I got involved in improv comedy. It settled me down when I was getting wild. I was sort of an evil teenager smashing up my cars and drinking and driving, let's just say, a lot.

I got through college realizing business was repugnant.

I would rather be a security guard than a rock star.

Cancer Boy probably has the saddest, noblest, sweetest heart of any character I've ever done.

I think that's why I like baseball. There's something great about it - you're young, the pitcher's young and he's got this great arm, and he doesn't really realize anything about strategy.

I don't love comedy but I can watch someone who's kind of interesting forever. I think a waitress who's having a bad day is a lot more fun than Robin Williams doing forty minutes of material.