You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?

Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can't drive.

Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third...

They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately.

That's why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody.

You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?

It gets boring at home. How many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on TV?