It gets boring at home. How many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on TV?

You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?

That's why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody.

They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately.

Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time.

Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third...

Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can't drive.