Now I know why women get their ears pierced. Once they've survived this ordeal of mutilation, they can face the discomforts of childbirth with equanimity.

Do you suppose the human race invented boredom to make the prospect of death more palatable?

Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one’s groin greets each day with such a gala spectacle of physical optimism?

I take it, then, Vijay, you are still a virgin?'Yes, and I find it extremely galling. When Gandhi was my age he had already been married three years.'No wonder Gandhi turned out to be a great man. When you get your love life nailed down that early, think of all the time it frees up to devote to Great Ideas.

Confession can be good for the soul, but it can exact a heavy toll on friendships.

I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives.

One of the tragic consequences of divorce is that the kids are legally obligated by the courts to spend a fixed amount of time with their dads. In normal families, dads and children happily ignore each other.