If you can find a frock you look nice in and can run up three flights of stairs, you're not fat.

Flyaway, problem hair is the enemy of feminism, and was probably invented by the Man to crush Susan Sontag.

I told my girls, 'Look at Rihanna: She's one of the biggest pop stars in the world. She's really famous, really powerful, really rich. Yet in every single video she can only wear panties. Poor Rhianna! We'll know when she is properly powerful and successful when we see her in a lovely cardigan.'

I like a little bit of revolution. I think it's a very good hobby for a young woman. Better than squash.

Just proportionately, statistically, one in three women are going to have an abortion. They're not all going to feel guilty.

The sort of the template of being a mother is that you're endlessly giving to the point of exhaustion. You know, that's amazing if you can do that, but for that to be seen as the norm of motherhood, that women are always supposed to give until they're exhausted, you know, to always take on all these burdens - and it's why I'm so, you know, in favor of protecting all of the abortion legislation we've got, to give women the right to go, I can't do that. I can't do it. I'm too tired.

In the end I want to spend my 60s writing bonkbusters like Jilly Cooper.