I am scared; I don't know what is going to happen to me. What was the point of working so hard and of being talented, to be rewarded like this? Never a penny, tormented all my life. It is horrible; one cannot imagine it.

Don't fear anything for your letters, they are burnt one by one and I hope you do the same with mine.

There is always something missing that torments me.

I have been back in Paris for two weeks. Nothing new. Life is still bitter.

I have fallen into an abyss. I live in a world so curious, so strange. Of the dream that was my life, this is my nightmare.

I have all sorts of problems and feel discouraged.

If you are nice, and keep your promise, we will be in paradise.