If you measure your happiness by the amount of liquid you have in your glass, you are either a cliché or an alcoholic.

you can have one of mine," he says. "i'll yank one out right now." no, that won't count. It has to be the lash that naturally falls out. " He gets on his knees and starts looking for my lash.

Don't sit back and be a bystander of your own life

People make changes in their life, and they blend and assimilate. They find a way to make it work. That's where I've always taken the wrong turn. By not taking a turn at all.

If you measure your happiness by the amount of liquid you have in your glass, you are either a cliché or an alcoholic.

People often say that writing is ten percent inspiration and ninety percent perspiration. This is nonsense, of course. It's pretty much one hundred percent caffeine.

If you have a good date, it's nice to text them afterward to say "thanks." But if they were totally lame, it's fun to text "unsubscribe."