I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.

There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, look!

Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.

...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me." "You don't know that." "Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.

As frightening as this may sound, what you see in the books is the way I see the world. And so far I haven't seen anything, either in Florida or elsewhere, to dissuade me from it.

The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind.

I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned.