Great soul of Gandhi, cover your ears. You will not want to hear this! Listen, you inbred piece of Ku Klux Krap! You white people love to be racist, but the only races you can tell apart are Indianapolis and Daytona. I hope I am reincarnated as toothpaste, so I never have to see you again. Now take your twelve-pack of wife-beating juice and get the park out of my store!

Do not encourage my behaviour.

I don't want to spend my time thinking about somebody else, I want to spend my time just being me and embracing life and living it and being there. At the end of the day, I'm responsible for my words and my thoughts and that's how I live.

I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.

When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!

In Texas, if your name is Carlos, you're a Mexican. In Florida, you're a Cuban. In New York, you're a Puerto Rican. And I come here and I find out I'm an Eskimo.