Minimizing exposure to miserable people is nothing short of a life strategy.

Separation is where you see if it works better with the adults in two different homes.

I actually recommend as little actual counting as possible in a life partnership. But, when there's a sense of injustice brewing between you, some counting is inevitable, and so my advice is to count using as broad a scope as possible. It's not just hours worked or chores done, either, and it's not even just about the household - it's a system of Whole Marriage Thinking. It's about hours worked, chores done, goals supported, emotional needs met, everything. What it all takes out of you, what it all gives back. It all factors in.

I'm sure there are people who can toggle quickly from all-in caregiving to structured socializing, but I can't think of any offhand.

You don't want to be with someone who is already not getting from you what he needs emotionally.

Almost no one can take on an entire future in one step, much less while reeling emotionally.

You can't make someone agree with you, not even when you're 100 percent sure you're right.