Minimizing exposure to miserable people is nothing short of a life strategy.

I'm sure there are people who can toggle quickly from all-in caregiving to structured socializing, but I can't think of any offhand.

Unfortunately, I think the expectation is that birthday girls don't pay.

You can't make someone agree with you, not even when you're 100 percent sure you're right.

The most reliable ways to make oneself miserable are attempting to change people and not attempting to change circumstances.

Apparently you have ample proof from experience that you're not going to stop world evil by debating your in-laws into submission, so it's okay to choose not to try.

Separating is not divorcing. Please keep that in mind. It is, instead, the second step in seeing if there's a better way to manage your family.