As a matter of fact [my mother] is very happily married. To a very nice southern gentleman named Roanoke - her first non-Jewish husband, as she likes to say.

Mothers are great. They outlast everything. But when they're bad, they're the worst thing that can happen.

Oh! This'll impress you - I'm actually in the Abnormal Psychology textbook. Obviously my family is so proud. Keep in mind though, I'm a PEZ dispenser and I'm in the abnormal Psychology textbook. Who says you can't have it all?

A lot of the time, I'm just smart enough to be unhappy.

I really love the internet. They say chat-rooms are the trailer park of the internet but I find it amazing.

I mean, for years [my father] would been doing everything imaginable ... from speed to downers to you name it. I used to call that "changing seats on the Titanic," and I used to say that I myself was not only changing seats on the Titanic but dating the crew.

Of course I miss [drugs]. And anyone who tells you they don't is lying.