Sometimes I feel like I've got my nose pressed up against the window of a bakery, only I'm the bread.

Here's how men think. Sex, work - and those are reversible, depending on age - sex, work, food, sports and lastly, begrudgingly, relationships. And here's how women think. Relationships, relationships, relationships, work, sex, shopping, weight, food.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

I still give my friends relationship advice, of course, and I'm not bad at it. 'Anyone's crisis but mine' is my motto.

Actually,I am a failed anorexic. I have anorexic thinking, but I can't seem to muster the behavoir

[My grandparents] were from Texas. El Paso. White trash.

A lot of people have told me, you know, that what I've written about, they identify with strongly.