Sometimes I feel like I've got my nose pressed up against the window of a bakery, only I'm the bread.

My life is like a lone, forgotten Q-Tip in the second-to-last drawer.

No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away.

You're not surprised when alcoholics act like alcoholics. It's more surprising when non-alcoholics start acting like alcoholics.

Come to think of [a handsome young carpenter], Harrison Ford used to be a carpenter.

Sometimes I feel like I've got my nose pressed up against the window of a bakery, only I'm the bread.

Mistakes are a drag, because you get in the area of regret and self-pity.