Then I realized that most of the world's problems stemmed from macho dickheadism, and if I cold defeat that I could save the world.

Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.

To be a DJ was to be God. To be a DJ at an alternative public radio station ? That was being God with a mission. It was thinking you were the first person to discover The Clash and you had to spread the word.

If vampires ever spend less time playing theatrics and living down to their stereotypes, they might actually take over the world someday

Stupid, fragile mortals.

He's a bully. I love bullies. They have such big, shiny red buttons to push.

It’s only a scratch, don’t cut my arm off!