Why vampires? You write centuries-long family sagas—why not write historical epics without any hint of the supernatural?" "Well, that would be boring, wouldn't it?" "Yeah, God only knows what Tolstoy was thinking.

Then I realized that most of the world's problems stemmed from macho dickheadism, and if I cold defeat that I could save the world.

Apparently it was unethical for lawyers to sleep with their clients. This from a man who offered legal representation to assassins.

I grinned at him. 'Jealous?' He grinned right back. 'That's a trick question. If I say yes you'll accuse me of being paranoid and unreasonable, and if I say no you'll make some defensive crack about how I don't think you're worth getting jealous over.' This is what I got for hooking up with a lawyer.

It doesn’t bother you that your canine brethren are being paraded around show rings like slaves?” “My canine brethren?” I said. “I don’thave any canine brethren.” “How can you say that! You’re a werewolf.” “That’s right. I’m a werewolf, not a poodle. What makes you think I have any kinship with dogs?

Hey, Cormac. You ever have to deal with a PMSing werewolf?

You know, I'm sick and tired of people pointing rifles at me.