I'm a werewolf trapped in a human body." "Well, yeah, that's kind of the definition." "No, really. I'm trapped." "Oh? When was the last time you shape-shifted?" "That's just it - I've never shape-shifted." "So you're not really a werewolf." "Not yet. But I was meant to be one, I just know it. How do I get a werewolf to attack me?" Stand in the middle of a forest under a full moon with a raw steak tied to your face, holding a sign that says, 'Eat me; I'm stupid'?

If vampires ever spend less time playing theatrics and living down to their stereotypes, they might actually take over the world someday

I punched to line. "Yes? What?" "Norville. It's Cormac. If you don't change the subject right now, I'm going to have to go over there and have a word with you.

Don't underestimate her ability to talk, it's her superpower.

Then I realized that most of the world's problems stemmed from macho dickheadism, and if I cold defeat that I could save the world.

Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.

I imagined calling in to my own radio show: Yeah hi, I'm a werewolf, and I'm stuck in a cabin in the woods with another werewolf and a werewolf hunter.