To clarify, the issue isn’t that I’m too fat, it’s that I’m too phat. Can I get a WHAT-WHAT!

I went to drama school at NYU for serious acting. So I was doing Chekov and Sam Shepard plays.

To clarify, the issue isn’t that I’m too fat, it’s that I’m too phat. Can I get a WHAT-WHAT!

Life is the one thing you cannot get out of alive.

I guess funny people are attracted to funny people, and then you get comedy marriages.

I have never turned to my girlfriend and said, Oh, okay, babe, and I see it in scripts all the time.

Is it normal to make a minute-to-minute schedule for the timing of thanksgiving? I'm asking for a friend.