I had no feeling for the things so many others needed.

terror finally becomes almost bearable but never quite terror creeps like a cat crawls like a cat across my mind

I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didn't have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. I didn't make for an interesting person. I didn't want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone.

In a capitalistic society the losers slaved for the winners and you have to have more losers than winners.

The human race had always disgusted me. essentially, what made them disgusting was the family-relationship illness, which included marriage, exchange of power and aid, which neighborhood, your district, your city, your county, your state, your nation-everybody grabbing each other's assholes in the Honeycomb of survival out of a fear-animalistic stupidity.

I am this fiery snail crawling home.

I knew exactly what I was doing: I was doing nothing. because I knew there was nothing to do.