I conceive disgust at these impertinent and misbecoming familiarities inscribed upon your ordinary tombstone.

Presents, I often say, endear absents.

He has left off reading altogether, to the great improvement of his originality.

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father's religion, if they can find out what it is.

I hate a man who swallows [his food], affecting not to know what he is eating. I suspect his taste in higher matters.

There was a little man, and he had a little soul; And he said, Little Soul, let us try, try, try!

A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.