The only grounds for divorce in California are marriage.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

You make good coffee . . . You're a slob, but you make good coffee.

I never cared about money. I'm not destined to be a rich woman. I'm destined to be a woman who makes a lot of money and never has any. I've made millions and millions and millions of dollars and I just spend it.

I'm the female equivalent of a counterfeit $20 bill. Half of what you see is a pretty good reproduction, the rest is a fraud.

The truth is that in my job, becoming old and becoming extinct are one and the same thing.