...because a life without meaning, without drive or focus, without dreams or goals, isn't a life worth living.

Every time I get injured I measure it's severity by asking myself 'Would this stop me from going to Disneyland?'

If you are going to live in a house made of candy, don't move next door to a couple of obese kids. A lot of these fairy-tale characters are missing common sense.

You're sad-looking," she said. "My grandson used to be such a happy boy. He used to write me stories. I remember the first story he ever wrote me, 'Once upon a time, there was a boy.' And that became 'Once upon a time there was a boy who wanted to fly.' And they kept getting better and better over time. I never found out if the boy got to fly." I gave her a small smile. If only she knew the boy's wings had been clipped.

I don’t think I have the right parts to appreciate '50 Shades of Grey'.

People are not born heroes or villains; they’re created by the people around them.

I almost shat my pants. Literally, the floor was almost covered in my shat.