High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life.

I don’t think I have the right parts to appreciate '50 Shades of Grey'.

There's nothing more terrifying then a teenage girl.

Being a best-selling author just means the world for me. Some of my happiest memories, growing up, are being at book stores and reading books I couldn't afford, as a kid, and the midnight parties, waiting for the next Harry Potter book. The fact that I have that straw in my cap means more to me than anything I've ever accomplished before.

To Grandma, for being my first editor and giving me the best writing advice I’ve ever received: “Christopher, I think you should wait until you’re done with elementary school before worrying about being a failed writer.

Whoa, I've really got to stop making plans with fictional characters. It can't be healthy to develop relationships with people who don't exist.

My life is an awkward visit from the kid's table while awaiting a History Channel special.