No perfume. Because I want to know how you smell - right off the bat. Don't mask it up. I need to know how you smell because I need to know how we connect. A smell is a big thing. Pheromones. Don't cover that.

We're the only species that listens to Michael Bublé when we have sex. That's gotta be wrong.

Once I started doing stand-up, everything fell into place. That was when I started acting more; I felt like I'd found my place in the business.

Every guy is different, but just prepare to know him in a different way and be OK with it, because the times I've lived with girls, and I've lived with some very sweet girls, I felt bad that they had to live with me.

Women, tend to talk more than men, and they do this thing where they say things that can easily be shown. Like, they don't need to do that.

A girl who pays attention is very cool. It's really hard to pay attention to someone. I understand. I get it. I get bored a lot when I'm talking to people, but I try. So I'd like for the girl to try, too.

I'm a dude, obviously, and when I'm not in a relationship, I don't do laundry until I want to. But if I live with a girl, you have to do it when she wants to or when we want to, which sucks.